An Adventure of Firsts

A great thing about having a newborn is almost everyday seems to hold a new set of "firsts", both for you and for him. First bath, first trip to the park, first time at church... everyday seems more exciting.

We're finally able to get him to look at the camera for pictures now as he can focus on who's talking

My little Mama's Boy

Our first notable "first" was my Mother's Day. My mom decided for her Mother's Day gift she wanted us to spend the night before at her house so she could watch Vince at night. Which meant I got to sleep- wonderful. Dillon and Kyle made us breakfast (eggs, bacon, and German pancakes) it was so good!

In honor of Mother's Day I'll share one of my favorite things about being a new mom: There has been 2 or 3  occasions when Vince has gotten a bit fussy (meaning he'll grunt, kick, and give dirty looks) and the person holding him hasn't been able to calm him down. When I go where he can see me or hold him he stops and seems so content! It warms my heart that he knows me and is calmer when his mommy is there!



PJ is part of a great organization called HopeKids. It's for children with life threatening conditions and their families. Knowing how expensive and consuming treatment is, HopeKids puts on all kinds of free events and activities for families. Last Saturday morning they had a free private movie screening, so we brought Vince to his first movie: Avengers. He slept like a champ through the whole thing, but at least his first movie was a boy movie.

Like almost everyone we LOVED the movie

It has been really fun introducing Vincent around to our friends. One of the families I was most eager for Vince to meet is the Johnsons: Neil, Bert, Court, Addi, Libby and Everly. This is the family I lived with in Minnesota my senior year of high school, and they are basically by second family. We brought him over last Monday and had a great time (Addi's gorgeous new fiance was there too- SO happy for them both). Everly kept saying, "look at the cute baby, isn't he cute!?" After a while Neil invited the 3 of us to join them for dinner, thus Vince had his first experience out to eat at The Old Spaghetti Factory





Dillon has been substitute teaching for me the last 3 weeks of school, so last week we finally brought Vince in to meet the students and staff for the first time. Also, I got the chance to speak at Graduation this past weekend.



There is a fairly expansive park by our house. There is a beautiful duck pond, and my mom confessed she has long day-dreamed of taking a nice Sunday walk around it with her grandson. First time feeding ducks (aka- watching Uncle Paul do it), and first solar eclipse (though we were careful to keep his face covered so he didn't accidentally look)

Watching them feed the ducks

Oh how I love our little family

A doting Grandma Wilson and Uncle PJ

This next one isn't really a first but Dillon loves this picture, and it always makes him laugh. For some unknowable reason Vince likes to eat in this position. Without his shorts on you can tell how much he looks like a squat little frog!

One of our favorite firsts was Vince getting to meet his Grandpa Wilson for the First time! My Dad was out most of last week from Minnesota to spend time with us and my siblings. Vincent is the first grandchild on my side which means he is never set down. Someone is always holding him and "it's my turn now", is a commonly heard phrase as we do our best to share.I'm so glad he came out!

Too bad Papa Willy looks like he doesn't like #1...

Bonding time with Grandpa

We went out to lunch with my grandparents at Grandpas favorite spot: Culver's (notice he's even got the official hat). First time getting these 4 generations together.

Vince may be the first grandchild for my Dad but he's the 5th of 8 children, so Vince is also great grandchild #31 (I think) for my grandparents.

Naps with Vince are the best, and since my Dad got up with Vince the first 3 nights (which meant actually getting to enter REM sleep for us!!!) he took several naps with him.

Getting to meet a lot of Wilsons at my cousin Sadie's bridal shower

Got to love when there is another wiling set of hands on diaper patrol!

Grandpa's last night (is it just me or does he look more tired than he did earlier in the week!?)

One Week Melt-Down

We were well warned of the phenomenon known as the one week melt-down by several new parents. That did not stop it from sneaking up on us though. We were told the fatigue would compile and at the one week mark there would be a mini-melt down.

Vince's tiny hands and feet

In the hospital I wasn’t sleeping much because I spent so much of the time holding my precious little bundle of joy and watching him sleep. Between midnight diapers and feeding every 3 or 4 hours I hadn’t slept much the first week.

Then on Monday (6 days after he was born and 3 since being out of the hospital) I was stupid. I don’t like to just sit around and take it easy. I feel badly asking for help even if I need it, I just don’t like to impose or feel like I can't handle things on my own (the only exception to that is Dillon of course, who helps me all the time). So when Vince had his 4^th bilirubin test in 5 days (which was scary) and my Mom, Kyle and Dillon were busy- I decided I’d drive myself to the doctor.

Stupid, stupid, stupid. In order to drive a car I had to go off my pain medication. So without anything for pain management I got ready and got Vince in the car. My incision hurt so bad getting him in the car I was dry-heaving from the pain. You’d think that would be warning enough to go back inside. After all there are literally dozens of people who would have been happy to take us to the doctor.

But no, I got in Dillon’s car and on the way had to fill up with gas. Between pregnancy brain and lack of sleep I feel crazy. I left my wallet on the trunk of the car after filling up, and then I drove off. It has everything (the insurance cards, debit cards...) and worst was the gift cards we’ve accumulated from the baby shower and my birthday. I realized it within a few blocks and went back to find it: no luck.

Safe in Daddy's arms

I was sobbing. I could not believe I could be so dumb and lose it. After 15 minutes of mentally beating myself up, and prayers I got a call from the BYU University Police. Someone had found it and called in with my ID number so they could tell me. THANK HEAVENS! It took a hour to get it, at which point Vince was hungry (but not fussy because he is AMAZING and so content).

I finally got to the doctor and the first thing to do was strip Vince down to weigh him. He hates being naked and cold. So to punish us for his mistreatment he waited until he got on the scale (by which point I knew trouble was coming) and then he promptly peed all over me, the scale, and the nurse. It was so funny! A very welcome bit of humor to my day. [He’s 6 pounds 10 ounces now, so getting closer to his birth weight again]

After getting back home I was in so much pain, and so frazzled but so grateful that Vince was calm through the whole thing. A few hours later I had to go to work and film 4 days of chemistry classes for my distance students (there are hundreds of students who take my class online so each class is filmed for them). It took 3 hours (on my feet still not on pain medication because again I drove myself). By the end I was dying.

It was embarrassing to have to tell Dillon what I had done that day out of pride and overextending myself. Needless to say the next day I paid for my escapades the day before. I was just so tired and sore and emotional I spent a good portion of the day in tears. Luckily, on Wednesday Dillon and I both got long naps. Now I finally feel sane and relaxed again.

Despite having to recover physically and being SO tired I have loved every minute with my little man. He is so content and cuddly! He never fusses, and makes the cutest faces when he sleeps. Also as he’s falling asleep and waking up he makes the most adorable little puppy sounds. It is unbelievably precious and melts my heart every time.  

Dillon had been amazing substitute teaching for me at Liahona so I can stay home. Physically there is no way I could be working. Emotionally and mentally there is no way I could be teaching. And there is NO WAY I could stand to be away from my little Prince. I'm so grateful Dillon is willing to make that sacrifice for us. 

Aside from the one week melt-down these past 9 days have been a dream. I can't stop kissing Vincent's little face and although I would have thought it physically impossible I am 100x more in love with Dillon every time I see him hold Vince. Motherhood has definitely not been easy so far, but it has been so so so worth it.  

We wanted to send our love to our family and friends that are scattered across the globe right now. We hope these blog updates help to keep you in the loop. We love you and miss you!

I love his tiny little toes

The Newest Member of the Holm Team

Our Vincent Jacob Holm was born at 12:39 pm on May 1^st, 2012. In this post I’m going to detail how it all happened- and it’s a lot of text. If you’re not interested please enjoy the pictures and skip the text! For those of you who are curious...

My due date was May 15^th. Months ago when Dillon accepted a summer job in Delaware (which reminds me I need to post on that) it seemed like it would be highly unlikely that the first round of training in DE would interfere with any baby plans as he was to be gone from May 2^nd – May 6^th, and back in plenty of time before our due date.

Then finals came... I went into pre-labor (see previous post) and on April 19^th my Doctor told me based on how my body had progressed Vince could come at any moment! It was so exciting! The next week my Doctor just about guaranteed that I would have him sometime that weekend (the last weekend in April). So when the weekend came and went without baby, I was not only disappointed, I became scared and anxious realizing I was set to go into labor at any moment but Dillon was set to leave town!

At Stewart Falls

I did EVERYTHING to try to bring Vince early: from spicy food to going on a 4 mile hike to Stewart Falls (a waterfall accessible only through a fairly demanding trail through and up Timpanogos Mountain). I could not believe that didn’t work... and as the weekend came to a close I was getting so sad. I was scared to deliver without my amazing husband and depressed to think he would have to miss it.

At Liahona (the High School I teach at) on Monday April 30^th I must have had 25+ students remark at how they couldn’t believe I was still teaching and hadn’t had the baby. My reply, “I don’t want to talk about it”. I knew there was no way I’d be pregnant on May 6^th when Dillon got back and I shed MANY tears over it.

At about 11:30pm that night I woke up (after 20 minutes sleep) with cramping. I didn't think it was contractions (having already had a round of those) but the discomfort was great enough that it drove me out of bed. It was a persistent abdominal discomfort that seemed to have surges in intensity every 3-4 minutes. The “surges” began as just more intense cramping, but quickly became very painful. As they never seemed to stop (just wax and wane in intensity- often overlapping) I couldn’t decide if I was making more of it that it was because I wanted it so badly, or if I was actually in labor.

By 1:30 am on May 1^st, I had called my mom in tears and explained what was happening. It was painful by that point but I was still thinking it was in my head, and didn’t know if I should wake Dillon and get his hopes up. After walking 900+ laps around our little apartment and having my mom talk me into it- I woke a groggy Dillon at 2am. By that point the “surges” were being felt intensely in my back and I knew I was in labor, but I was afraid it would stop like it had the last few times.

Also, as going to get checked out at the hospital would still cost the $300 check in fee if I was sent home I was super hesitant to go in. Dillon had me call my doctor who of course told me to get to the hospital ASAP. In the car on the way I had such clear contractions I cried for joy! I finally believed that this was really happening and I was SO happy it was happening with Dillon there, that the painful contractions were absolutely welcome (I’m not exaggerating ask Dillon, I would be paralyzed with pain then say Yay, that was a real one and cry and smile and laugh).

We checked in a little before 3am and the contractions made changing and getting into the hospital bed difficult. The worst part was, despite the fact I had a contraction getting into the bed, once there and hooked up to the monitor I went 15 minutes without a contraction! I was freaking out that labor had stopped after 3.5 hours and the nurse was clearly unimpressed (she later told me she was positive she would be sending us home with a false alarm). I felt so acutely disappointed and embarrassed, but then they came back!  

By 4am when the nurse checked me again I had gone from 3cm and 85% effaced to 4cm and 90% effaced. They hooked me up to my IV and told me they were definitely not going to send me home (what a relief). My mom had arrived by that point (she secretly came down to the hospital before we did when I first called her, but didn’t tell me so I didn’t feel pressured- that funny lady).

Despite the pain, I was on cloud 9! I was happy and chatting, and Dillon and I were giggling like kids with excitement. I’m really proud to get to say I never once grouched at Dillon or my mom. I was just so happy to have it really happening that labor was oddly enjoyable (though in the spirit of full disclosure, it was crazy uncomfortable and painful).

The contractions grew more intense and got closer together. By 7:30 am I asked for my epidural (though I am proud to say I labored for 8 hours without it). The last hour before getting it was INSANE- I was amazed how seriously painful it was, but I’m really glad I got the perspective of the pain before getting the meds. Lying on my side curled up waiting for the shot was the worst of it- by that point the contractions had me in tears. Poor Dillon just looked at me with teary eyes of his own trying to think of a way to help. His being there was the best!

I could have kissed my anesthesiologist! Within minutes the pain was gone and contractions tickled more than anything. Like I said I’m really glad I waited for perspective but the epidural was heavenly!

Despite the good consistent contractions, I hadn’t dilated any more since 4am! (Lame) However, during those 3-4 hours Vince was MOVING! He was constantly moving all 4 limbs and clearly didn’t like the contractions. I was amazed he had the energy to keep it up and a bit concerned at how much energy he was expending.

At 8:30 am my doctor arrived and during my check up she broke my water. Vince’s heart rate plummeted at that point. It was really, really scary. To try and jump-start the dilation process again, I was put on pitocin. Over the next 3 hours I did fully efface and manage to barely dilate to a 5, but Vince was worn out. On the monitor you could see with every contraction (2-3 minutes apart for 1-2 minutes long) his heart rate would drop from 120 beats per minute to just 60 or 70 until the contraction would stop.

My doctor realized Vince’s cord must be pinned somewhere between his body and the wall of the uterus or wrapped around his neck, so with each contraction it was getting pinched. They couldn’t make my contractions any stronger without fear of hurting him more, and as they were, the contractions weren’t dilating me fast enough where Vince would have any steam left for the pushing phase as he was getting a work out as it was. They even put me on an oxygen mask to help get him enough oxygen.

At this point (11:30am) my doctor first started talking to us about the likely hood of a c-section. She said Vince was too tired and his heart rate wasn’t rebounding as quickly between contractions. She upped the pitocin just a little to see if it would make it worse, and when it did she left to get things ready right away. I was in tears. I had not given the possibility of a c-section a moment’s thought at any point and was not at all prepared. She had given us the obligatory “it’s a major surgery with serious risks” speech. While I know she needed to disclose the risks, it made it even worse. I was worried for myself and really scared for Vince. Poor Dillon was worried for us both too and I again marveled at how grateful I was that he was there. Without him I would have totally lost it, and he thought of him sitting in Delaware hearing about a c-section then having to wait alone for news... yikes.

I really didn’t want the c-section (after 12 hours of labor I felt I wanted to at least try pushing), but I knew it was best for my Vincent. Those of you who read my post on my awful midwife and switch to my amazing doctor will appreciate even more now how great she is! She had a similar unforeseen complication in her first pregnancy and got a last minute c-section of her own. So she was great at knowing my concerns and being able to address them without my even asking (which I was too upset to ask anyways). What a blessing she has been!

 Dillon getting his paper scrubs on so he could come

with me into the operating room

Within 5 minutes of discussing the possibility of the c-section, my doctor was arranging the details and 5 minutes after that I was being wheeled into the Operating Room. Between the meds they gave me, being cold, and being terrified I was shaking pretty badly from head to toe. I guess it’s common so they gave me this warm air plastic bubble looking cover and some meds to keep me from trembling too much. The meds also made me way dizzy and unfocused- which is probably a good thing seeing as though I could feel a lot of what was going on. No pain but it was clear when they were pushing and cutting and stuff so I visualized other things and tried not to focus on it.

About 10 minutes in they told Dillon (who had been sitting by my head rubbing my cheek and playing with my hair) to stand and look over the partition to see Vince come out. His eyes got wide and he just said, “Oh my gosh, you did it”. Then I heard a little cough and they took Vince out without me even seeing him. I told Dillon to go with him. I thought I heard a bit of soft crying from where they were cleaning Vince and checking him- which was such a welcome sound!!! They continued to work on me for 30-45 minutes after, and by then the drugs had all but put me to sleep.

 

Our handsome little son holding his daddy's

hand for the first time

  

I caught a little half smile from Vince

 

A nurse came in at some point to tell me they were having problems getting Vince to turn pink and he wasn’t breathing well and they had to work hard to clear his lungs and stomach of fluid. Again so scary! Once they got him righted, Dillon brought Vince to me for just a minute before they had to go get Vince cleaned up and measured some more. Just enough time for a quick photo op and for me to get a glimpse of him. 

 

First family photo, I barely remember this being taken...

My clearest impression was how great it was to see Dillon holding his son and how proud and happy he looked. I was in agony not getting to hold or kiss Vince just then, but it was blissful to see my precious son being held so lovingly and protectively by his father- who also happens to be the world’s best husband. 

 

Vince has his daddy's nose and ears for sure!

 

Look at that proud papa!

 

When I was put back together they took me to my original room, though Vince was down a floor. It was a very long 2 hours before I was finally brought down there and got to hold Vince! The next day our doctor said they had sent some of his cord blood to be analyzed the day before. Basically the long of the short of it is it was absolutely the right call to do the c-section. He was in distress, and not getting enough oxygen, and his blood was acidotic (pH too low) which given too much more time would have made things much much worse. Again thank heavens for such a wonderful doctor who knew just when to make the call, and then performed too quickly and so well!

Daddy's hands on tiny little Vince's stomach

His cord had been pinched in a few places, and his giant Holm head was stuck in my cervix. In fact Dillon said he had the worst cone head at first (it has gotten much better, but still has some normalizing to do). His head was so stuck and had been for so long he had a giant purple bruise on the top where it had been pressing against my cervix. The bruise is really bad and has even started to scab just a bit in the last day or two. With all that had happened there was just no way he would have been able to come out on his own. 

 Grandma Wilson holding her first grandchild for the

first time. He owns her!

 

Uncle Kyle came by to visit Vince too. He'll

be with us in Delaware so he'll get plenty 

of Vince time. 

Auntie Tofer, she had to be coerced into

letting anyone else hold him.

 Uncle Paul was scared about holding

him a first, but he's a natural.

Great Grandma and Great Grandpa Wilson

came over two days in a row to hold 

their 31st great-grandchild

 Long skinny arms and legs, he's so precious!

Right before he left, Dillon brought flowers!

The healing process will be slow for me (my doctor keeps apologizing that I’ll have to heal from 13 hours of labor and from a c-section), but Dillon is going to substitute for me for the last 3 weeks of school. Also Kyle skipped BYU classes Tuesday (while I was in labor) to substitute last minute, then our AMAZING friend Miriam subbed for me Wednesday and her mom for me on Thursday- we are so blessed!!!

Grandma and Vince napping together

It has been fun to have just a few friends and family come by to meet Vince so far. As he and I are up to it we’re excited to get to show him off more. In the mean time Dillon is in Delaware with Uncle Kyle and my mom is staying with Vince & I in the hospital and at our apartment until Dillon gets home. I am so grateful for her help. Last night while I was in the shower mom (grandma) had been holding Vince for like the 4^th hour straight- I overheard her say to him, “What am I ever going to do without you? I changed my mind, they can’t take you to Delaware anymore”. Ha ha, poor grandma is smitten.