One Week Melt-Down

We were well warned of the phenomenon known as the one week melt-down by several new parents. That did not stop it from sneaking up on us though. We were told the fatigue would compile and at the one week mark there would be a mini-melt down.

Vince's tiny hands and feet

In the hospital I wasn’t sleeping much because I spent so much of the time holding my precious little bundle of joy and watching him sleep. Between midnight diapers and feeding every 3 or 4 hours I hadn’t slept much the first week.

Then on Monday (6 days after he was born and 3 since being out of the hospital) I was stupid. I don’t like to just sit around and take it easy. I feel badly asking for help even if I need it, I just don’t like to impose or feel like I can't handle things on my own (the only exception to that is Dillon of course, who helps me all the time). So when Vince had his 4^th bilirubin test in 5 days (which was scary) and my Mom, Kyle and Dillon were busy- I decided I’d drive myself to the doctor.

Stupid, stupid, stupid. In order to drive a car I had to go off my pain medication. So without anything for pain management I got ready and got Vince in the car. My incision hurt so bad getting him in the car I was dry-heaving from the pain. You’d think that would be warning enough to go back inside. After all there are literally dozens of people who would have been happy to take us to the doctor.

But no, I got in Dillon’s car and on the way had to fill up with gas. Between pregnancy brain and lack of sleep I feel crazy. I left my wallet on the trunk of the car after filling up, and then I drove off. It has everything (the insurance cards, debit cards...) and worst was the gift cards we’ve accumulated from the baby shower and my birthday. I realized it within a few blocks and went back to find it: no luck.

Safe in Daddy's arms

I was sobbing. I could not believe I could be so dumb and lose it. After 15 minutes of mentally beating myself up, and prayers I got a call from the BYU University Police. Someone had found it and called in with my ID number so they could tell me. THANK HEAVENS! It took a hour to get it, at which point Vince was hungry (but not fussy because he is AMAZING and so content).

I finally got to the doctor and the first thing to do was strip Vince down to weigh him. He hates being naked and cold. So to punish us for his mistreatment he waited until he got on the scale (by which point I knew trouble was coming) and then he promptly peed all over me, the scale, and the nurse. It was so funny! A very welcome bit of humor to my day. [He’s 6 pounds 10 ounces now, so getting closer to his birth weight again]

After getting back home I was in so much pain, and so frazzled but so grateful that Vince was calm through the whole thing. A few hours later I had to go to work and film 4 days of chemistry classes for my distance students (there are hundreds of students who take my class online so each class is filmed for them). It took 3 hours (on my feet still not on pain medication because again I drove myself). By the end I was dying.

It was embarrassing to have to tell Dillon what I had done that day out of pride and overextending myself. Needless to say the next day I paid for my escapades the day before. I was just so tired and sore and emotional I spent a good portion of the day in tears. Luckily, on Wednesday Dillon and I both got long naps. Now I finally feel sane and relaxed again.

Despite having to recover physically and being SO tired I have loved every minute with my little man. He is so content and cuddly! He never fusses, and makes the cutest faces when he sleeps. Also as he’s falling asleep and waking up he makes the most adorable little puppy sounds. It is unbelievably precious and melts my heart every time.  

Dillon had been amazing substitute teaching for me at Liahona so I can stay home. Physically there is no way I could be working. Emotionally and mentally there is no way I could be teaching. And there is NO WAY I could stand to be away from my little Prince. I'm so grateful Dillon is willing to make that sacrifice for us. 

Aside from the one week melt-down these past 9 days have been a dream. I can't stop kissing Vincent's little face and although I would have thought it physically impossible I am 100x more in love with Dillon every time I see him hold Vince. Motherhood has definitely not been easy so far, but it has been so so so worth it.  

We wanted to send our love to our family and friends that are scattered across the globe right now. We hope these blog updates help to keep you in the loop. We love you and miss you!

I love his tiny little toes